Missing since: Nov 29, 2009 – his final day at The Reject Shop.

Last seen: Careening the road towards Northland Reject Shop in his Ford Focus, cackling maniacally with two blown tyres and a trailer full of C4. Eyewitness accounts claim that a cigar-smoking monkey was in the passenger seat, crashing two broken cymbals together. The monkey also appeared to have been cackling.

Last meal: Probably the monkey, and possibly also his steering wheel. Neither were ever found.

Answers to: Tom Thumb, Tomothy, Toe Mass, Hommus, Tommy Gun, Tomstruct Nameless, Tompus, A-Tom Bomb, Moon-tan Man and Crumbucket.

Non-musical band role: Weed Procurement Officer

Favourite Thumbs song: Sadly, Rossell has destroyed his memory and has no way of remembering titles. When asked this question, he responded with, "the one that goes bum-de-bum bah, gah-gah, bah, bum-de-bah".

Favourite venue: The ones that don't close down.

Genre of choice: Anything involving human drummers.

Previous bands: Totem, Valhalla, Isolar, Syntropy, Adverse Reaction, Team Urusai

Special move: The Crowded-Car Dad Joke – a devastatingly-powerful special move with a difficulty of 9.1, the Crowded-Car Dad Joke is the comic equivalent of a cluster bomb. Unleashed in close confines at the exact moment of no escape, Crumbucket's Dad Jokes explode in a circular direction, destroying everything in an audible radius. The flow-on groans act as a second wave of destruction that can even level small buildings if enough people are moaning at once.

Musical shame: Isolar

Catchphrase: "Guys, check out my tan... Arrr, C’mon!”

If he wasn't in House of Thumbs, he'd be: Arrested for tinkering with KFC point-of-sale software to add the "half-burger" option to the menu 'coz that's as much as he can eat in one sitting.

Voted most likely: to go completely postal after losing his licence for a record ninth time for speeding, all before Linden gets his.

When Tom's around, kids are rarely to be found. Routinely mistaken for some kind of Halloween rodeo clown, the man who answers to "Crumbucket" has been known to scare the living bejesus out of children and small animals alike with his gaunt, pasty appearance. Bloodshot eyes and pores that ooze a gelatinous green substance are common hallmarks of this particular beast, who regularly spends time doing pirate impersonations in shopping-centre food courts for spare change, but it is the blinding white brilliance of his starchy, pallid skin for which he is most notorious. His moon tan is so damaging to the naked eye that he single-handedly stimulates sales of sunglasses during the winter season just by leaving his house.

Living on kickbacks from Ray-Ban, he can often be found harvesting the sweat from his soaked practice shirt for a myriad of uses, including drum lube and engine oil. Harbours a deep hatred for popular discount store The Reject Shop, for reasons no one quite understands, and has been known to stand out the front screaming "I REJECT YOU!"